Suburban Ditch Medicine: Warts & Skin Tags

Let me start by saying that I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to write this down on a static page that I can send people to, rather than continuing to explain it five zillion times a year. As I write this, the sense of relief is palpable.

Your sense of relief may be palpable, as well, when you learn that there is a cheap, safe, usually permanent way of dealing with warts and skin tags. I call it the Garlic Slab Cure.

The theory is simple. Warts and skin tags are almost always caused by a virus, which lives at the base of them. Topical creams can’t penetrate the wart effectively enough to kill the virus most of the time, so even if they dissolve the actual wart, it comes back. Similarly, you don’t kill viruses by burning, cutting or freezing them; all those cures do is remove the wart, which then usually builds back up over time, thanks to the virus that’s still there.

The answer to warts & skin tags is to stick a very potent antiviral on the area, something that penetrates the body like gangbusters. And if you don’t think that that’s garlic, try peeling a clove and rubbing it on the bottom of your foot: You’ll taste it in less than a minute.

To do this, you need: A knife, some small or medium band-aids, and some whole garlic. Total cost: About three dollars, if you have to go buy everything.

Here’s what you do:

In the evening, cut the garlic in half so that you have two bullet-shaped pieces. Now cut a cross-section of one of them, so you have a little disc. Trim this to about the size of your affliction.

Band-aid it on there.

Sleeeeeeep.

In the morning, take it off. Let it air all day. The next night, repeat the steps.

After a few days, usually less than three, you’ll start to notice the wart or skin tag swelling, getting red around the edges, and being sensitive. That’s a good sign; keep going. Anywhere between a day and two weeks later (depends on the virus, so you never know; though in my experience the average seems to be 5-7 days), it’ll fall off. If you don’t pull it off prematurely, it will usually barely bleed at all and leave no scar. Ta-da!

Read the rest for FAQs. But that’s it, really. Live long and be wartless!

Frequently Asked Thingies about the Garlic Slab Doohickey

1. Does it hurt?
   It gets a little sore, but nothing next to having them lasered, frozen or cut off.
2. Does it really never come back?
   I’ve only ever seen one come back, a particularly icky plantar wart, but it didn’t come back after the second treatment. I thought a skin tag on the back of my neck had come back for a little while, but it turned out to just be a different skin tag in the same general area. (I had to get somebody to look for the miniscule scar the first skin tag left to be sure.)
3. Should I put triple-antibiotic or something on it after it comes off?
   If you really want, dude; but you’ve had an antibiotic on it for the last week! Doubtful about that? There’s a really good writeup on the antibiotic properties of garlic here, and another, more in-depth article on garlic generally over here. Garlic is the shizniot, and if you appreciate cheap, safe, effective cures, you’re going to love the stuff (even if you hate it).
4. My skinomaly is right between my eyes (or in some other very visible place). Should I do this?
   Sure, but I suggest a modification: Wear the band-aid all day, and let it air all night. That way you just have a band-aid on your face, not a swollen, irritated-looking wart! ;)
5. Okay, mine’s on my $@!#, or in my nose or something. What about then?
   Ummm….well, you could try it. It won’t kill you. The worst it will do is burn you — garlic is strong stuff. That’s why the directions have you trimming it down to the size of your wart — holding garlic against your bare skin will give you a bit of a(n all-natural) chemical burn! That said, an uncut garlic clove can be used as a vaginal or rectal suppository (don’t ask), and obviously garlic oil doesn’t burn your mouth. I would try it for reduced amounts of time, and see if it seems to be working. If it doesn’t, don’t worry; the burn will go away and probably won’t get infected (see above). You could try just smearing garlic oil on it at intervals, which isn’t quite as effective but may still work over time, or even just eating a lot of garlic for a while.
6. Somebody told me to use duct tape instead.
   Yes, and duct tape often does work, because most of the viruses involved require oxygen to live — duct tape is a good sealant, if you apply it well and properly. But it isn’t antimicrobial, so it works less well, in my experience, than garlic does. It also doesn’t have the nice side-effect of keeping the area clean.

Hope all of that’s helpful to someone (as it’s been for me!),
-PD