Not dead, not tired, but SORE — and a Special Polyphasic Moment

So. I apologize deeply for the lapse; I seem to have damaged myself somehow. Other than mentally this time. ;)

A couple trips to the chiropractor and some re-arranging of my ergonomic circumstances have stopped my right hand from going totally numb, but I’m still having Ibuprofen-or-die moments, and I’m supposed to rest from typing as much as I can (which isn’t very bloody much, let me tell you). What with work and school vying to see which can beat me harder (my doc speculates that the week of 18-hour days at the computer may have contributed significantly to my effeduppedness), blogging and fiction took the hit.

It sucks a lot. Last night I was tired early again (as I have been frequently; see above about work and school — this is mental exhaustion, a feeling I’m not fond of but am familiar with) which meant that I woke up at 2 a.m. after my core. And then had to find four hours of ultra-quiet, non-computer activity. And couldn’t even resort to the Playstation (which is actually worse on my hands than computers — I had to pretty much give up console games a few years ago). I spent the whole damn night reading and watching election coverage on TV.

I didn’t fall asleep, but a little bit of me died of boredom. ;)

However, I did have a very special Polyphasic Moment last night that I wanted to share, angry arms or not. As I was complaining about yawning and preparing to take my core, it kind of hit me where I’d be without this schedule. I’m taking a normal four-credit class and an insane one (staffed by professors who think that 12-16 hours a week of homework is appropriate for a four-credit class); the small business I administer is doing pretty big things requiring me to travel and work lots of extra (and hopefully translating into extra money soon, cuz damn, I could use it); I have a toddler who freaks if she doesn’t get at least a solid hour of my time every evening (not that that’s unpleasant, but I have caught myself thinking about how I should be working on something) … and then there are the constant mental prods from my writing projects, my first love, and my most necessary mental antidote. Three or more days without some fiction, and I start to crumble pretty badly. (It’s now been two days again…*sigh*). Oh yeah, and I signed up for Tai Chi, partly to get some exercise and relaxation, and partly to counter the urge to hardwire myself to my computer. ;)

In Tai Chi, we do an exercise (which has a Chinese name I can only fumblingly pronounce, and can’t spell–argh! I’ll find it for you soon, promise [NOTE: After searching around, I *think* it's called "San Zan" or "three battles"]) that is the most awesome physical thing I’ve ever seen. It’s not martial (unlike the whole rest of my class–and GOD, martial Tai Chi is the shizniot). It’s an energy-building exercise, and though it’s all slow movements, by the time you’re done your face is red and you’re sweating and you feel like there’s a fully-charged car battery in your dan tien (physical center). It blows my mind that, after a long day of work, I can go work out for a solid hour, and leave with more energy than I walked in with!

I really like everything I do, mind you. Some of it’s not fun in the short term, but all of it makes me very happy, overall. I’m probably in better mental health than I’ve ever been; certainly I’m weathering levels of stress that previously would have crumpled me like a coke can tossed out of a submarine, and generally I’m doing it with a smile. That’s no small thing, at least for me. And it would be totally impossible without the time I gain from this sleep schedule.

I’m gonna say it again, though you’ve heard it a million times already: Everyman and Uberman are not degrees of the same thing; they’re more like twins that look and act completely differently. I’ve written a lot about them and how they compare, and I’ll write a lot more in the book (oh yes, I’m working on that too, when I can — it is pretty completely outlined, and large chunks of the research are done). But the little differences between them make all the difference. I couldn’t do Uberman because of my schedule — because Uberman offers almost no flexibility, and I need to be able to work around meetings suddenly happening at a naptime, and things of that nature. I also need to go six, sometimes even 7 hours between naps, and not fall off the boat — and Everyman can do that. Everyman feels much more like monophase than it does like I remember Uberman. There’s no real confusion about what day it is, since I have a nightly “reset”, though the days do seem eerily long sometimes. I’m not “never tired” like I was during a good run of Uberman, and as others have resported with that schedule; rather, I go through the familiar ups and downs that monophasic sleepers do, though I’m definitely less tired, less often, than I ever was on monophasic. And I gain four hours a day to either get work done that I couldn’t otherwise; or to relax and pursue my hobbies, thus guaranteeing my mental health in a situation where I’m pretty sure I’d otherwise be completely batshit screwed.

Anyway. I should save the rambling about Everyman until Day 120, which is coming up. But last night, as I answered some work emails and stuff at 2 a.m. (the people I work with who don’t know about my sleep-schedule must think I’m utterly cracked!) before taking a few much-needed hours to lounge and relax, I realized what this schedule really means for me and what it’s allowing me to accomplish, and seriously, I almost cried.

Yeah.

Will update soon, promise. ;)

-PD

P.S. Okay, that bit about the days being eerily long? Bit more profound an effect than obviously I’d realized, since I just did all that apologizing (and I really did feel like it’d been forever since I wrote a post) only to realize that I’ve only missed one day in the last seven! Granted, most of it could have been more substantial, but I’m sure nobody’s wondering if I’m dead yet. *snarf* That’s pretty hilarious…