Wal-Mart’s Pie Chart from Hell
If you don’t hate Wal-Mart yet, perhaps their latest publication will convince you. You’ve got to admit, at the very least, it’s a serious contender for the Execrable MarketingSpeak Hall of Fame.
Now according to the PR slime-trail, “Conscientious Objecters” (represented by the bursting-with-happiness guy) are not boycotters, they’re just, you know, people who think Wal-Mart are scum. Wal-Mart wants you to know that us boycotters might yet be swayed by a low enough price…
Don’t throw up yet; it gets better.
That big purple Pac-Man-mouth up there, that whopping third of Wal-Mart customers
labelled “Brand Aspirationals”? Those are the poor people who can’t afford nice brand-name things, so they go to Wal-Mart, who sells them at prices no-one else can beat. Only problem is, of course, what this means for those millions of people who, like W-M’s employees, can’t afford nice crap: What they’re getting isn’t nice crap. It’s essentially a knock-off, an ultra-cheap version thrown together by the brand’s owner-corporation in order to meet Wal-Mart’s gorilla-like demands for impossibly low prices. The stuff Wal-Mart’s selling has the right name on it, and legally (though I’m not entirely sure why it’s legal, or why they shouldn’t at least have to put an identifying mark on it) — but it’s ten times crappier that the identical one you got from another store.
You know what really gets me about that? How many of that 29% is Grandmas. I, if you didn’t know, am a huge fan of Grandmas, and I certainly mean them no disrespect when I say that they can be a little clueless about macro-level things like corporate practices. (I’m very, very blessed to have no less than five Grandmas in my family, all of them spectacular people.) Grandmas love a deal, and it often doesn’t occur to them that a big shiny store might be screwing them right out in the open. A lot of them grew up in the fifties, you know.
So we have the Grim Reaper of family businesses, the country’s biggest and worst employer, one of the primary causes of the loss of American manufacturing jobs to offshoring, and a staunch supporter of China’s right to do business with America without having to improve human rights, labor or environmental practices … all so 30% of their customers can get cheated out of what they think they’re buying.
And then, they go spewing lurid English like “brand aspirationals” and “conscientious objectors”. Talk about insult to injury.
Proud member of that 14%, thank you.