Running to stand still

Ack!  Sorry about the lapse in there — busy busy busy over here.  End of semester, of course, plus another reorg at work that’s going to, naturally, increase my workload (but at least with interesting things), plus fiction leaping out of the stringy remains of recent mental illness to demand that it all be written immediately, plus finally, FINALLY nice weather.  I am a fly in a jar on methamphetamine.

Sleep stuff is fine.  Going better with more to do, big surprise there.  If I had room to exercise, practice taiji (possible nighttime practice in the future, if I can quiet my stupid phobias and the weather cooperates), or go out, like, socially (gasp!), I’m sure it’d be a cakewalk all the time.  But hey, can’t have everything all at once.

I was looking around at people the other day and thinking about how much we (humans) do to distract ourselves.  It looks compulsive sometimes, the kill-the-pain reflex, and I’m not sure that the "pain" that needs killing is what most of us seem to assume it is:  Some tragic past, or some horrible present, or some dismal future.  I know that I, for one, don’t have any of those things — by every measure I’ve had a lucky past, have a fair and tolerable present, and certainly have a hopeful future — but lordy, I reach for my drugs to kill the pain as quickly as anybody else.  Maybe there’s something significantly "off" about how most human beings approach life, that causes a rift, that causes a hurt, that causes us to constantly seek distraction.

I can think of these things I’ve seen people use:  Drugs / alcohol, television, eating, shopping, sex, work, social or relationship or family drama, danger and near-death experiences, petty crime, self-abuse, other-abuse (often spouses or children)…

That’s not to say those things are always addictive in nature, but I’ve seen all of them used that way.  Can you think of any more?

(I wouldn’t ask you to admit yours.  I’m sure as hell not admitting mine.  But it’s helpful to know where the wasp in the room is, right?)