Xmas Post

Doesn’t it seem like the more you have to write about, the less time there is to write it??

Some dearths of time are just universal laws, I think, and even polyphasic sleep can’t cure them.  ;)

In any case, whatever else is out there to write about, this post almost can’t help but be about The Holidays. 

I used to have a very small family — growing up, it was just my mom, my dad, my brother and me, in a relatively anonymous suburban setting.  "True nuclear", you could call it.  All the other relatives lived out-of-state and got visited every few years.  Among numerous other effects that this had, it meant that "Christmas" was A Day; it began after dinner on Xmas Eve, when we went to Mass (which, of course, is every kid’s favorite part of the holiday); and ended after dinner the next day, when we all settled back into the usual routine.  I always envied the stories of old, you know, where The Holidays like are a week long!

Well, my family has since changed.  A lot.  I married into a biiiiig family with a huge local membership, and then divorced out of it, and then married into another sizeable one.  Neither family is without its problems (of course), but they’re both full of people who adore my daughter — she has the biggest, most enthusiastic social network of any kindergartener I’ve ever heard of.  There are, seriously, four devoted and involved grandmas, and two doting grandpas, and aunts and uncles and friends-of-the-family and so-on galore — all within easy reach.   Plus, she has her mommy (*waves hands*) and her four-star amazing stepdad (who she told me yesterday is called "shaggy-daddy" because she has another daddy, but nobody else could ever be her Shaggy) and her dad and brothers on the other side (obviously we have our disagreements, but they take darn good care of her, and if I could have asked for anything in an Ex, that would’ve been it!) … it’s a really, really astonishing setup, especially if you’re looking at it from my former perspective.  And it’s been almost as good for me as it has been for her, though of course, as a parent, I’d trade my benefits for hers in a heartbeat — going without myself won’t make me lose sleep, but her going without drives me bonkers.  (Parenthood is so convoluted.)

Anyway, all this wonderfulness is almost enough to make one feel that one doesn’t deserve any additional Xmas presents…but, um, not quite.  I’ve been good, darnit!  ;)

And one of the many positive effects this has had is that "Christmas" is huge!  Maybe not the fortnight-long revelries of old.  But it’s The Holidays now; it spans several weeks of preparation and then four or so days of visiting, eating, celebrating and wallowing in presents.

And I’m telling you, the real, Aristotelian-final-cause purpose of Xmas is to break up the dreary winter; to get together and be grateful for each other while the Earth is quietly trying to kill you; to enjoy what’s precious indoors while the outdoors sucks.  The winter holidays are way, way older than the Christ mythos (which I’m sure most of you know) — they date back to shut-in snow, cabin fever and the threat of the food running out!  (Also, feasting at the beginning of winter = eating all the stuff that won’t last.  Xmas is a big Fridge-Cleaning-Out!)

We may not get shut in (often), but the winters in the Midwest are pretty brutally icky; by February everyone skulks around like a dirty, grumpy snowman kicked them in the teeth.  Xmas makes the warm memories that get you through that depressing grey phase of the year.  It ought to last a while, and be thoroughly enjoyed!

The minor, lead-in celebrations started for us on Friday night; today and tomorrow are the big ones; and Xmas Day itself will be a day of rest, good leftovers, and organizing all the new stuff into our lives.  The kid in me, who died a little each day that crept closer to Xmas without being in any way special, has been jumping up and down nonstop for 36 hours now…  ;)

As to what Xmas is "about", I think there’s plenty of room for different answers in there; not because I’m a subjectivist, but because there’s plenty that goes on during the holidays!  There’s decorating, cooking, presents, parties, charity, ritual, etc…and for every one of those, there are people for whom its the hingepin of their Holidays.  I think that’s fine, though I also think that everyone should partake of the Charity aspect, since the "theme" of the season is Giving, and since this time of year is particularly difficult for people who don’t have what they need. 

For me, in case you were curious, it’s Presents … I hate shopping all year long, but I love doing Xmas presents.  I love thinking about everyone in my family and wondering what object I could hand them that would show them how we see them for who they really are, and appreciate and love them for that.  I love being sneaky and pulling off huge surprises  (ooo do I got a good one this year!).  I even love making the lists and budgeting for the whole thing (no small task!), because I’m just nerdy like that. 

In the Great Character-List of Xmas personalities, I’m a Gift Wizard — high INT, four slots in "organization", good STR and DEX (box and paper management!) … CHA is my dump-stat, unsurprisingly.  ;)

…And this is the point where I’ve done enough Holiday-related babbling about me…I realize I could have talked about more interesting things, like the fictional "war on Christmas" that’s currently feeding religious intolerance in the western world (thank you fundies, for beefing up the intolerance — we needed that), or the origin of using green & red as Xmas colors even though they look ghastly together, or even posted my recipie for Stupid Easy Xmas Cookies.  But really I just wanted to explain, briefly as I could, why the Holidays feel like a gift themselves this year, why I feel like I got the Xmas I was asking for for Xmas all the time I was a dorky, lonely kid. 

And of course, no Xmas Post would be complete without wrapping up in gratitude, for the company, communication, friendship and support of those reading it … I hope your holidays are truly special, in whatever way benefits you most, and may the Great One watch over your thoughts and actions and make them as pure and perfect as, well, driven snow.   (But not driven-on snow.) 

Ataraxy!*

(*Peace!)