Five Perfections, Twelve Dots and a Cartridge in a Fair Plea

…And now, for my next trick, I’m going to make that subject make SENSE.  ::rolls up sleeves::

Firstly, for your edification and because it’s too awesome to let sit, here are the Five Perfections of the Shaolin tradition.  (As I’ve been going to a bona fide Shaolin Temple for nearly two years now, I thought I’d, you know, learn something about it besides the martial art.  Genius, I!)  Each of the Perfections inspires a Virtue, listed after it.

Tell me this isn’t cool:

1) Compassion (Charity)
2) Love (Morality)
3) Determination (Patience)
4) Discipline (Effort)
5) Meditation (Enlightenment)

…I just love how everything I learn about this practice is something that I can, at the very least, nod peacefully and say that I have no problem getting behind.  It’s like bullshitless religion!  (Yes, yes, I just wanted to type the word "bullshitless".  But come on, don’t you?)

Also, yesterday I had twelve dots — almost less, but I deliberately brought it up to twelve.  I may lower it later, but for now, remember, I’m trying not to go crazy with this.  The "Intuition Diet" is working great, though, in the sense that it’s easy (getting easier now that it’s becoming a solid habit), and I feel like it’s really doing something without putting too big an alligator-clamp on my life.  Plus, no self-hatred or critical vanity involved.  Yay!

…What’s really funny though?  I was talking with one of my bestest buddies about it the other day, and she tells me, "Well, yeah…that’s what I did."  "Wut?" says I.  "Yes," she explains, "Remember when I lost that forty pounds or so?  That’s all I was doing…putting a checkmark in my planner for every hundred calories.  What, did I forget to tell you that?"

Well, obviously you told me in some freaky subliminal way, dear, but…yes!  So it turns out that a) the Intuition Diet isn’t even close to my idea; not only has it been done, but by my own clan no less; and b) it looks like there’s already proof that it works!

I’ve been doing it three weeks, roughly, and I am starting to feel a very slight difference.  My body is lighter, just a tad, and putting things on is slightly less annoying than it’s been.  Good signs, good signs.  You don’t want to lose weight fast if you intend to keep it off (which I’m sure you know, me being blessed with such a highly intelligent audience).  So I haven’t lost any yet, but I can sort of "tell" that I’m going to (bestest buddy’s evidence aside — and she did lose a lot of weight, by the way; I do remember that — I just never knew how she did it!).

Third topic:  For those of you considering buying a printer, stay the crap away from Epson.  They used to be a good company.  Now they’re a horrible company that makes high-quality printers.  I mean to say, their printers still work well, and they do have great print quality, but what you will go through with the ink is NOT WORTH IT.  Epson has become what people in The Industry refer to as "INK NAZIS".  Here’s what that means:

*  Each of your four or more Epson cartridges has a computer chip on it.

*  The computer chip will tell the printer when it thinks the ink is low.  There is nothing you can do to argue with or reset the chip, short of buying a piece of off-market hacker hardware that can sometimes reset the chips.

*  The cartridge will inevitably tell the printer it’s "empty" before you notice so much as a streak in the printing.  This is because it’s still about 1/4 full when it does that.

*  When ANY of your cartridges reads empty, the entire printer will stop functioning.  It will not print anything more until you replace that cartridge (at twenty bucks a pop).  So if you’re out of yellow but you need to print a quick black-and-white copy of your school paper?  Too freaking bad; Epson wants money first.

*  EVEN IF you can reset the chips, the cartridges are built with near-NASA-level technology to make damn sure you can’t ever refill them.  Neither can anybody in a store that does refills.

Needless to say, I’m never, ever buying an Epson again. …But, um, if any of you want one, I’m selling a barely-used one…!  ;)

Lastly, do you think it’s fair to ask your national government to not, say, put a huge program in place to collect the DNA of every newborn in the country, without telling anyone what they plan to do with it, without promising anything with regards to privacy, and without notifying parents that they’re doing it?  I think it’s a fair plea (ha!) myself…but apparently, Washington does not.

Other countries take note:  You may be next.  Get mad about what America’s done so that your government can’t slip something similar in under the radar…

There, if that wad didn’t stimulate your synapses, then I fear you’re hopeless!