Category — aesthetica

"Love suffers long and is kind;
Love does not envy;
Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely,
does not seek its own,
is not provoked, thinks no evil…"

(I'll leave the attribution as an interesting exercise for the reader.)

…poop.  And sometimes it's not poop; sometimes we lay a golden egg and then just sit there being baffled for a moment before the necessity of cleaning up and going to check on the guests again intrudes.

Ah, life.

So I'm horribly, desperately, probably-will-not-recover-ably behind on NanoWriMo; I'm mad that I didn't get my 30 in this year but in nearly-retrospect, I suppose it was sort of inevitable, especially once one of "my" datacenters decided to start flummoxing about.  I was already moving apartments, traveling twice, and leading a team to speak at a conference this month, after all; and that's a lot even before you start pulling night-shifts and weekends on a regular basis.  (I refuse to actually complain about the nights and weekends…I have a ridiculously awesome team of geniuses working alongside me now, and mostly I just send emails and keep the hounds off so they can fix things.  This time last year it was me and one other tech, and those were some brutal night-shifts!)

But for all that I've only got, let's see, eight-and-a-half stories to show for this month, some of them are, once again, not half bad.  I'm posting this one (the eighth, of course) because it isn't very good as a story, but I still enjoyed writing it and reading it and figured somebody else might too.  It's like what I imagine would happen if I took up writing Hallmark cards!  ;)

There’s a spot on this road where the path diverges eight ways.
If you see it, and you know that eight is the number of possible paths, you may be able to choose the correct one.  But if you do not realize that you’ve reached the eightfold split, then there is very little hope you’ll go the right way.  But maybe I can help.  Here is how you’ll know you’ve reached the eightfold path:
One optional path will always lead left, but there will not always be a right option.
One will certainly be rocky and slant upwards.  Consider this one carefully.
One path will appear to lead straight ahead, but if you look closely you’ll notice that it isn’t really a continuation of the path you were on after all.  This is a deceptive path that will seem appealing because it looks like no choice at all, but in fact it is a significant divergence.
One may slope downwards, and if it does, you will often see a pleasant resting-place with water in this direction.  Beware this path; it never leads where it looks to.
Two, sometimes three paths will lead backwards.  Take one of these if you must, but keep in mind that none of them actually head back to where you came from.
The crossroads is often occupied by an older person who wants you to stop and talk.  They may have wisdom, or only doubt; but before you decide to talk to them or not, consider that doing so is a path in itself:  None of your other options will remain exactly as they were when you’ve finished.
And lastly, if you find yourself faced with seven paths similar to the ones above, confirm that you are in fact at an eightfold crossroad by looking up.  The final path, or the key to which path to take, is often hiding right in the open, just over your head.

…for all you fellow "grammar nazis"   ;)

So, I lost my phone the other day — actually kind of a fun napping story/warning itself, because apparently I woke up a little too fuzzily at work, and rolled the phone up in my blanket when I put it away, d'oh — and was looking for a good webpage alarm, when I stumbled on the Online Video Clock.  Here's what's cool about it:

• Lets you pick from a preset list of videos, or anything on YouTube, to wake up by
• Works entirely in-browser
• Nice big numbers for glancing at the screen if needed
• Easy to use once you figure it out:  Push the "Update" button to sync the clocks, and then "+15" or "+30" to automatically tune the alarm to that much later (or just adjust the numbers manually).  Don't forget to push the "SET ALARM" button on the bottom!

So, for instance, if you have the new MC Frontalot video totally stuck in your mind, you can now reward yourself with it as a wake-up call, easy as pie.  Or you could watch that awesome Space Lord / Time Lord mashup yet again; or bump up your mood with Weird Al's Anime Polka; or get inspired to craziness with some parkour.  Tons of possibilities, there — and the nice part about a video is that you won't want to just lay there and listen to it; it virtually screams get up and look at this!

Just stumbled on Andrew Moore's excellent photos of Detroit…these are a great example of how photos of real places in crisis can be artistic without being exploitative.  Kudos to Andrew for finding the beauty here without covering up the grotesque, and for facing the grotesque without letting it tell the whole story. 

Or maybe I just like them because they're well-done and so many of them are familiar.  (The moss-covered floor, one of my favorites, is apparently Model T HQ.  There, I have not been.)

…P90X starts tomorrow.

I was watching bits of the videos yesterday, and wow, is that intimidating.  Not, funnily enough, because of the exercises — those look hard, as they should be, but I'm not worried about being able to do All The Everything on the first go; I'd much rather have the system as a whole last me for many cycles, which means I want it to be stupid hard at first — but because of the, well, aesthetics of the thing.

Tony, the guy who leads these, is definitely one of the more perfect examples of the specimen of humanity that he is.  His look is flawless, his "patter" is the perfect mix of motivating and non-intimidating, and his environment is just about perfectly tailored to impress a certain kind of person.

Which is about as far from me as you can get.

I don't find the people in the videos attractive or sympathetic; I snort at the "motivational" hoorah and constant hilarious use of XTREEM linguistics; faced with the carefully-tailored Fitness Environment, I feel both bored and uncomfortable.  But, I've had to ask myself, are the aesthetics of such a program what we really need to be in line with?  And the answer is no:  I want a good, non-shortcutty fitness program with structure and discipline elements, and P90X looks made-to-order for that.   So I will get started with it as it is, and I'll tailor my clothes and my workout space — my aesthetics — to make me comfortable.  That probably means kungfu clothes and turning Tony's patter down so it's easily overwhelmed by hardcore.  ;)

Here's what prep has entailed:

• Complete Google Doc where I'm keeping all the notes for tracking and cheat-sheety use later on (diet, workout schedules, water requirements, that kind of thing)
• Setup the space:  Clean, and get my TV's sound working (Thank You Husband!*)
• Find all the gear:  5lb square weights that are also push-up handles, rubber bands (starting at 8lb, to be adjusted if needed…I typically move more weight than the Average Girl Weight, due to being built on the curvy/muscular side rather than the thin one; but I'm not intending to get higher than 20lb total with this, since martial arts needs lean, not bulky, muscles), mat …need some water bottles still though, and more workout clothes would not hurt eventually
• Plan the schedule:  I'll do all my workouts first thing in the morning, which means I need to wake up no later than 6.  If I'm not polyphasic that'll mean a bedtime of 10pm, which will fry my bacon, but I'm not planning to put up with raw monophasism very long…maybe for recovery purposes the first 3 weeks (in fact I may take a daytime nap plus 8h of night sleep for that phase, since better recovery = better progress), but after that I'll be eyeballing how to sleep less if I can.  Expect a post or ten on that, of course.  ;)
• Remove all junk food from the house…sadly, this has meant eating most of it.  ;)
• Buy non-junk food so that I have a chance in hell of meeting the insanely protein-heavy dietary requirements of the first month…pepperoni slices, pickles, cheese, eggs, and tuna fish all over the place, plus as many fruits and veggies as I can shove in the fridge.  I have to eat a whopping 1800 calories a day, which, while still less than the "average", is a full 400 more than I usually aim for (and generally hit), and since it has to be 80% carb-free at first, that means a lot, lot, lot of unusual (for me) food, and pretty much eating it constantly.  Should be interesting.
• Mindset:  Doing more kungfu/taiji practice when I want to "relax"; and pausing often to feel the turning of the cycles and prepare for the THUNK! as a new, pretty heavy gear slams into place tomorrow … this "preparation" for something hard is a trick I learned getting big tattoos, if you care.  You get excited about it, you wait for the pain as a harbinger of a change you really want … this got me through 22 hours of labor too, same deal.  When you've mentally equated pain to a goal you really want to reach, you don't flinch from the pain, and not flinching is, in my experience, a good half of the battle.  ;)

So, to summarize the lessons so far:

-  Make your own aesthetics

-  Plan your butt off as a way to pre-commit to difficult paths

-  Don't assume that all techies know shit about your TV  ;)

-  Get ready to welcome necessary pain:  Not flinching is half the battle.

*Yes, my husband does all things relating to TVs and stereos and crap.  My (yes, considerable) technical expertise ends at the computer keyboard, and while it does spread out into some heavier machinery (I like me some shop equipment, oh yes), it doesn't go anywhere near consumer electronics.  I even got a friend to root my cell phone!

The point is I love this book so hard. And we live in a world moved somewhat past it now, a world it had a part in creating, which makes it all the more fascinating and recursive. The novel creates an almost unique emotion, of genuine fear and doubt and longing for something to be real at the same time as being grateful it is not, of dread and wonder. And maybe, whatever that feeling is called, it’s what the horror genre is always trying to bring us, from dark, cold places just out of reach.

via Rules for Anchorites – House of Leaves and the Found Footage Film [one last time!].

Cat Valente (once again) does a perfect job writing something I've wanted to write and couldn't get to: A review of (one aspect of) the book House of Leaves.  Which can't be given stars because they aren't up to ten stars yet.  This book should get ALL the stars.

I agree with her completely, but especially on this point: If you're a writer, or any kind of lover of horror or good plotting, you have to take your hat off for this book. All the way off. And do a slow clap. Because that shit is awesome.  I just read it a little while ago, and I'm waiting for it to settle before I re-read it, but it's saying something that I've been anxiously looking forward to the re-read for, like, months already.  I can't remember the last time a book did that to me…this one is just jaw-dropping.

But, um, don't read it if you scare easily, especially in the coming-unhinged-from-reality sense.  Seriously, just don't.  I slept with the lights on for weeks, and I don't scare easily, and I finished the thing with a huge rush of Thank-God-my-mind-is-intact, that-really-could-have-messed-me-up-for-years.

**WARNING** the following is a) a bit flippant and b) may only apply if you're long-term adapted to polyphasic sleep; if you're still adjusting, don't screw with things!

On Friday night, I slept…in definitely one of the top 3 most beautiful locations I've ever been in!  A friend (who is just the right amount of crazy) and I snuck our way into a clearing at the very edge of the ocean next to a lighthouse and set up camp…it was warm but not hot, with a lovely breeze (and no bugs), the sound of the surf, and, because it was a clearing in the woods, every time we were still for more than five minutes, it filled up with bunnies.  It was a bit late when I got to bed (1:30), but I was up by 5 and then took a nap at 6, so got my 4.5 hours, roughly.

Then, swimming in the ocean through intense waves for about 3.5 hours the next morning.  I'm trying to learn freediving (diving and staying at the bottom with only a snorkel, no scuba stuff).  It's a rough learning curve!  ;) 

On Saturday, I nodded off in a moving vehicle for the first time since I was a small child.  I needed two naps just to keep from falling asleep mid-sentence during the day.  I was in bed by 10:30, and forgot to re-set my 4am alarm, so I woke up at 6:30.  (I also ate about 2,000 calories yesterday and was still pretty hungry.  Diving takes a LOT out of you.  Surprisingly quite a lot more than weightlifting.) 

But considering the circumstances, I call NONE of that a fail.  ;)

(More seriously, 4.5 has worked well for me all week…the only dicey spot is making sure I get my nap at work, but the nice part is that if I can't get it until 2-3 o'clock in the afternoon, that seems work fine still.)

"Hell hath no limits, nor is it circumscrib'd
by any selfe place; but where we are is Hell.
And where hell is there we must ever be.
And to be short, when the world dissolves,
And every creature shall be purify'd,
All places shall be Hell that are not Heaven."

-Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus

"The purpose of mechanics is to describe how bodies change their position in space with "time".  I should load my conscience with grave sins against the sacred spirit of lucidity were I to formulate the aims of mechanics in this way, without serious reflection and detailed explanations."

(The Special Theory of Relativity, Ch. 3)

ABSOLUTELY, sir, have I felt myself at times in danger of sinning against the sacred spirit of lucidity!  I'll strive to remember that the atonement of such sins is to write the shit down, no matter what others — others in power, too — might say or think about it.  So they're wrong about space, cavalier about time, and stupid to insist that death is scary…they may not like us for it, but we're bound to tell them, or carry those grave sins with us through the whole continuum.

(My whole world is better now that I have the backing of a great man to shore up my belief in a Sacred Spirit of Lucidity!  Whatever you're reading this weekend, I hope it's been as transformative for you.  ;)