It’s been said, but have you really heard?
Exhibit One, your honors:
The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there. -Yasutani Roshi, Zen master (1885-1973)
…That’s a representational exhibit, mind you, since that saying or versions of it have been floating around literally for centuries now, and if you look you can find them everywhere from books to t-shirts to churches to the mouths of babes.
It’s a really common saying to run into…but how many of us have really heard it, for all that?
The “I’m in here, you’re out there” feeling is very, very fundamental to the usual human experience, I think. I remember realizing it when I was about eight, and thinking, as I bet most people do, that what I’d found was a core truth. Many years later, after much reading and pondering and yelling, I decided to agree with the Zen masters — the feeling of being separated from everyone else, everything else even, IS a delusion. I won’t go into why, but the longer I work on the question, the more it seems like that has to be the answer.
But this is not a realization that I have real-ized (”made real”), so much as decided to agree with because, on balance, it makes more sense to me than the way I actually feel. It’s a tough thing, to decide to believe that you’re delusional about something; it feels like stepping onto a dangerous plank, where you violate the evidence of your senses in favor of what works in the abstract, or in your guts.
Still, years later and I haven’t been talked out of my position yet — and it’s not that people haven’t tried! I think I’ve come closer to actually real-izing the truth of the fundamental oneness of life (Life, actually, since if there’s only one of it, it’s a proper noun, yes?) — I’ve caught glimpses of it, with my senses as well as my mind, and it’s seemed more and more solid, and more right, the more I contemplate it. But it seems to be one of those things that many people will just have to believe in first, and work to understand later.
That’s not usually an M.O. I’m okay with. I mean, in this case the belief itself seems to be harmless (it only seems to inspire compassion, tolerance, etc.), or even helpful, so there isn’t much to object to; but in general, I don’t like pre-validated beliefs at all, at all.
*sigh*
Some days it seems like the Universe is deliberately tailoring the challenges you get so they require the very hardest things you could be asked to do, doesn’t it??
Posted October 20th, 2008 in
I'm a polyphasic proselytiser, a provoked pacifist and a pupil philosopher. Any one of my hundred thousand hobbies and interests might be featured here at any time, so keep those eyes peeled. If you've got anything interesting to tell me, you can always get me at puredoxyk*at*puredoxyk*dot*com. Thanks for reading!
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